started hart of Dixie on Netflix.
I really like it, but I wish there was more scandal. like, I just want to see the mayor shirtless. is that too much to ask hart of Dixie??? there is barely kissing. lol. I understand it’s a sweet southern belle kind of show but yo, my teeth hurt it’s so sweet sometimes.
does anyone get severe elbow pain from benching?
I had to stop accessory work bc of it after I benched. I know I have knots in my arms, but they are progressively getting worse. it’s just really annoying.
my eating is so strange.
like yes, Ive struggled with bingeing a lot. I can actually admit this now, but I attended some over eaters anonymous meetings. which are kinda cool by the way. and they are offered literally all over. but anyways, I’ve struggled with bingeing. and I’ve struggled with restricting. and sometimes when I am stressed or feel like shit about my body, I binge. but other times, I want to stop eating food altogether.
it just comes up at the weirdest times. like just now I got home from the gym and needed to eat and took a bite of an enchilada and literally felt repulsed by myself. like, I should not be eating this. bc I’ll get fat again.
but then I was like “Annaliesa what the fuck are you thinking a needed meal isn’t going to make you fat” and continued eating it. but the thought still nagged at me.
anyways, this is a weird ramble that I’m definitely going to tag in case this triggers anyone. but I guess my weird disordered eating comes up at the strangest times. it just likes to sneak in when I am most vulnerable. and I would like to tell it to kindly fuck off.
yessss hott powerlifter guy is at the gym and spotting me. spotting me, spotting me.
at least I can end today on a solid note.
with some beef.
ok, maybe just looking at some beef.
shitty ass day.
it’s like, go home and drink hard cider and watch Netflix until I rot away
or go bench and give some nasty ass death stares at anyone who looks at me funny at fitness 19.
I’m gonna go with the latter.